those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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