Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
