I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
