I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
