i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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