i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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