But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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