watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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