I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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