"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
