At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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