We're facebook friends in real life
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
