It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
