my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
