Only a mothe r could love this liver
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize