She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
