She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
