You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
