If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
