you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
