do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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