just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize