I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
