Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
