things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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