my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
