i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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