Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
