Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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