..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sorry my hands just texted you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
