I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
