PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
