I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
