Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
