Non-Jews are for practice
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
