Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
its liver damage thursday
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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