I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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