420 ftw
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
