Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
