i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
