Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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