You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
