Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
