I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
