Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
