What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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