At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
