Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you win again, gameday.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
