The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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