Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
