And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
