I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
