How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
