R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
