walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
