yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
