So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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