it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
