**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
