I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She's the barista slut.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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