This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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