We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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