I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Come share oat with me in your robe
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
