I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
this just has baby written all over it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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