He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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